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 Posted: Mon 0:37, 19 Aug 2013 Post subject: The best time to have baby Nike Blazer vlvq |
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The best time to have baby
The thought makes her imagine less time relaxing on the couch watching her favorite TV shows. And he can envision the baby gear outnumbering the pairs of rare Jordan sneakers he has purchased over the years.
Married since September, the Browns graduated from college, have up-and-coming careers and go to church regularly. (They even teach Sunday School together.) Though they might be in a position to start a family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that won't be happening anytime soon.
"We both are the type of people that color-coordinate our respective sock drawers," says Joseph Brown, 27,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a health insurance professional. "So it will most definitely be planned. We're not big on surprises."
From a quiet night at home watching "Grey's Anatomy" to spitting out sunflower seeds at Comerica Park for an afternoon Tigers game,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the couple says they're not ready to give that all up yet.
"We have a few friends with kids," Joseph Brown says. "Everything we do with them socially has to be planned out in advance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it is still, sometimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just a tentative plan based around if they can find a babysitter. That's a hassle."
Research has shown that there is a higher level of marital satisfaction before children because so much changes in a relationship when little ones are under foot, says John Becker, a licensed marriage and family therapist who has a private practice in Plymouth, Mich.
"It's about how well a couple comes to terms with how things have changed and how they work and accept the change," Becker says. "Marital satisfaction can take a dip, but it comes back. Some couples even say they have a stronger bond after they have children. It really is how well the couple transitions and how they fully understand all that's going on with the change."
Whether you're the couple who go with the flow or the ultra-planning couple who keep tabs on ovulation and sperm counts, both extremes can be difficult to navigate.
"Over planners need to be flexible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," Becker says. "There's nothing wrong with planning and discussing things, but that doesn't mean it'll just work out. Free-flowing couples have their plan, and they need to be flexible in that as well."
Though the Browns aren't ready to embrace parenthood, Chelsea Brown,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 26,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a community relations coordinator for a non-profit, said she thinks children help allow a couple to re-establish their partnership.
"One day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we do want to have children," she says. "I'm not sure when will be the right time. I know at this point, we want to enjoy time with each other,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], spoil each other and focus on our careers and educational goals."
And that's all right, Becker says. Deciding when to have a baby is about how ready a couple thinks they are.
Until then, the Browns quench their hankerings to be around kids-a rarity, Joseph Brown says-by borrowing one of their nieces and nephews for a quick kid-fix.
Ron and Katie Lazarowicz of Canton have been married for nearly 12 years and have two children, 7-year-old son Owen and daughter Lorena, 2.
Like the Browns,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Lazarowiczes had every intention of planning their family. But four years into their marriage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Owen showed up.
"When we got pregnant with Owen,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I took the test, walked away for a few hours and went back, and I'm like, 'Oh my God!'" says Katie Lazarowicz, 39, a health care recruiter who says their second child was planned.
"You can plan as much as you can, but there's no convenient time to have a baby because it's such a huge impact on your life. . After both our children were born, our family felt more complete."
As they push 40, the Lazarowiczes say a third child isn't in their plans, but "babies come when they come," she says.
The quality of their marriage has not changed since the kids came, but they have different responsibilities and find themselves planning more-from date nights to time for home projects.
Trying to find time for each other can be a challenge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Lazarowiczes say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it's important for a couple to spend time together alone without the kids.
"We do plan around our children, and there is a slight lack of energy, but that is part of the joy of having a family," says Ron Lazarowicz, 39, an engineer.相关的主题文章：
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